A Magnum of Muscadet

Here! Pot Boy: run for a rundlet of raspberry vinegar,
a single Estonian vodka at lunchtime for Gavin,
a rhyton of rum, a bushel of Beaujolais Nouveau,
a cistern of camomile tea, and a carboy of claret.

A Jeroboam of Pink Champagne

The samovar's cold, shall we make do with Shiraz or Syrah,
beakers of brandy, bottles of Burgundy, buckets of blood,
an urn of usquebaugh, a crock of Colombian coffee,
a pitcher of porter, a pot of poteen for the Padre?

A Rehoboam of Gunpowder

There's a three-bottle man on the end of a rope;
the masked face is breathing malt whisky and fear.
There's treason in vodka if you know where to look,
pennies on eyes of wormwood imbibers,
and a spread-eagled man in a sip of retsina.
You can't be too careful whose health you're drinking.

A butt of Malmsey for the Duke: we have a drowning to attend.

A Methuselah of Ginger Beer

Barry Bessie borrow barrel
bring buxom Barbara's buffet
baby bacchanals begin
bibble bubble burble burp
Bessie's buttons burst big baby
Barbara bulges Bertram bleary
Brian's bladder badinage
Barry bored (belch) bowlered Babbitt
backwards baboon balderdash
ballyhoo bamboozle barmy
bonkers blubber boiling biffed
booster burn bet bottom burning.

A Salmanazar of British Sherry

a scuttle of sherbet, a cruse of cream soda, a soupçon of stout,
a tierce of tequila, a firkin of fino, a swallow of shrub,
a basin of beer, a cauldron of cocoa, a gallon of grog,
a mouthful of meths, a noggin of nectar, a puncheon of perry,
a call for a cylix of cognac, a quarter carafe of strong cider,
a mug of Madeira, a litre of lager, a jorum of juice,
a ewer of eggnog, a flagon of Fitou, a dram of Drambuie.

A Balthazar of Laudanum

The absinthe is in the amphora, dear boy. On the shelf
near my catamite's skull, and the phial of strychnine. Please pass
me my tortoiseshell monocle. Here, you can see for yourself.
They are coming. The hemlock, please. Quick. Une petite demi-tasse.

A Nebuchadnezzar of Moonshine

a chalice of cod, a salmon of schnapps, a decanter of dab
a guppy of Graves, a hogshead of haddock, a goldfish of gin
a flasket of flounder, a tuna of tea, a gourd of grouper
a kyathus of kippers, a tub of torpedo, a dace of demijohn

a croaker of carp, a smeld of flute, a pop of pickerel,
an advocaat of anchovy, an anchovy of shad, a pekoe of anchovy,
a wrasse of cusp, a link of double dace, a cider of tarpon,
an eelpout of draught, a shandy of snook, a shale of sole.


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